Nothing is Simple About Terrorism in Israel

Ping!

My assistant coach hit a practice grounder to the left side of the pitcher’s mound. Our shortstop shifted his weight slightly, caught the ball in his glove and tossed it up just past his shoulder. He snatched it out of the air with his bare hand and fired a throw to first. The first baseman had to stretch his glove down the foul line to make the catch but managed to keep his foot on the base. I pursed my lips slightly but kept quiet.

Ping!

Coach hit another ground ball, this time to third. The third baseman moved to his right to catch the ball backhanded with his glove, made a quick 360-degree turn as he transferred the ball to his other hand and threw the ball as hard as he could. I watched the ball sail into the outfield and decided I’d seen enough.

“Hey!” I yelled. “Everybody bring it in for a minute.”

The team jogged over to me and looked up expectantly.

“Look,” I began, “we don’t need flashy plays here. This isn’t Sportscenter; nobody’s making the Top Ten Plays or Web Gems and we don’t get any extra points for style. Just make the play.”

I heard a number of chuckles, mixed with some slight groans and an, “Aww man!” from the team.

“Seriously!” I pressed. “I want boring! Give me the most boring, straightforward plays you can make. I don’t want to see Derek Jeter throwing the ball as he jumps and spins. I want to see you field the ball cleanly, set your feet, make a solid throw to get the out, and I want to yawn!”

The players laughed as they returned to their positions to continue practicing. Continue reading “Nothing is Simple About Terrorism in Israel”

Making Change Against Anti-Semitism

I had two roommates in college during my freshman year.

The first – we’ll call him Han – was also a freshman. Han was Asian, a New York City native and a terrific pool player. He also enjoyed rap and hip hop music; I still credit him with giving me my first real exposure to those genres. He didn’t talk much, although he was happy to respond if I struck up a conversation with him.

The second – we’ll call him Gary – was a junior who transferred to Binghamton from another SUNY school. Gary was tall, white and lived somewhere in upstate New York. He was more outgoing than Han and the two of us spent quite a bit of time together when we first arrived at school.

Han, Gary and I weren’t friends by any standard definition of the term. We came from different backgrounds, had different interests and associated with different groups of friends. But we coexisted peacefully and there were never any real conflicts between us.

Until Gary’s friend, Greg, came to visit. Continue reading “Making Change Against Anti-Semitism”

Searching For Answers in the Wake of Tragedy

The girl was a quiet student.

She responded when called on, but she was less eager than her classmates to offer her opinions without being prompted. She often doodled during class, either in her notebook or on her arms, and rarely made eye contact with me. At times, I wondered whether she was actually listening to the discussions occurring around her.

During one class session late in the year, we spoke about God’s presence – or lack thereof? – during the Holocaust. The students asked the understandable question: if we, as Jews, are supposed to be God’s people, why would God allow the Holocaust to happen? I couldn’t pretend to know the answer, but I presented the ways in which people’s beliefs were affected by the Holocaust.

I explained that there were some who claimed that the Holocaust was evidence that God could not exist. Their answer to the question was based on logic; God would not have allowed the Jewish people to be persecuted to such an extent if God existed.

Then I added that, even in the face of the Holocaust, some people still maintained their faith in God. I said that they needed to believe that God had some sort of plan and that we, as humans, could not understand why God allowed the Nazis to murder six million Jews. The only way to press on was to believe that there was a reason for the events happening around them.

The student looked up from the intricate ink design that was creeping up her forearm.

“Well, that’s stupid,” she said simply. Continue reading “Searching For Answers in the Wake of Tragedy”

The Graphic Novel Is Not Too Graphic: Why Maus Belongs In School Curricula

The Holocaust was a standard part of the curriculum from elementary school through my senior year of high school. As a Jewish kid at a Jewish day school, exposure to the history and impact of the Holocaust wasn’t exactly a surprise.

I didn’t realize the extent of the differences between my private education and the local public schools until I went to college. I knew, of course, that public school students were not taking classes on Hebrew language or Biblical criticism. But I assumed that the secular studies classes – math, history, English language arts, science – were relatively similar.

My assumption was mostly correct. Instruction in math, science, and even history is relatively standard. Students need to learn specific concepts as part of each topic in order to prepare for their futures.

But English is different.

Continue reading “The Graphic Novel Is Not Too Graphic: Why Maus Belongs In School Curricula”

Never Forget; Never Again

I usually read the first few posts on my social media platforms each morning. I get a quick sense of what’s happening based on the posts I see when I open the apps. Then I start scanning for words or images that catch my attention, rather than focusing on each individual post. I continue for a moment or two just to see if anything jumps out at me.

It was during the scanning phase the other day when I saw a tweet that made me stop. I wish I could say it was a quick anecdote of parenting humor or a hilarious meme. I usually find one or two of those each morning that make me laugh and put me in a better mood.

But yesterday was not that day.

The tweet brought up emotions that I hadn’t realized were simmering underneath my surface. It forced me to come back to the realities I can usually ignore while I’m focused on work or parenting. It reminded me that the world outside my apartment is not nearly as forgiving for most people who don’t look like me or live where I do. Continue reading “Never Forget; Never Again”

Parental Dadvisory Podcast: Post-Election Reflection

It’s no secret that the 2020 Presidential election carried a lot of emotional weight for our nation. I had the opportunity to put some of those emotions into words with a few other dads on the Parental Dadvisory Podcast shortly after the results were announced. If you have some time, I hope you’ll give it a listen.

Fair warning: it’s a long conversation. I recommend listening on 1.5 speed; it won’t distort the voices too much and you’ll save yourself close to a half hour of listening time. Also, the actual conversation starts around the 6:30 mark; the first few minutes are introductions and alcohol talk.

Click to listen on YouTube.

Or, click to listen on iTunes/Apple podcasts.

Hanukkah Inclusion or Anti-Semitic Symbolism? Flip a Coin.

The store always seemed to be crowded, even when it wasn’t, and that afternoon was no exception. I only needed a few things so I was finished with the actual shopping fairly quickly. I wove back between the shoppers, carts and strollers and took my place at the back of the checkout line which was, predictably, almost at the back of the store. The other tortoises and I moved forward, slowly but steadily, making sure to glance up from our phones frequently enough to make sure we hadn’t fallen behind.

I was about halfway to the registers when a particular “‘Tis the Season” display caught my eye. The rest of the store had been outfitted, just like most stores are at this time of year, with snowflakes, evergreen trees and red and white hats sporadically dotting the walls and aisles. But at that spot, hanging from the ceiling, were large cardboard dreidels, painted in a variety of colors not unlike the apples on the table below them. Just above each dreidel was a cutout of a coin, each one representing a different country’s currency.

I loved the dreidels.

I didn’t love the coins. Continue reading “Hanukkah Inclusion or Anti-Semitic Symbolism? Flip a Coin.”

Being Afraid to Click “Publish”

There is always a certain degree of anxiety before I click the little blue button that sends my words out into the internet ether. It comes with the territory of demonstrating vulnerability, of opening myself up to disagreement and criticism. Even with the knowledge that I hardly have all the answers, there is still the fear of being shown that the point of view I thought was logical was based on a faulty premise. There is still the fear of being proven wrong and, its close cousin, the fear of being ridiculed or shamed as a result.

Certainly, I feel reassured by the fact that the overwhelming majority of my readers are supportive. They – you, really, since you are reading this – are my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances or some combination therein. I believe that my readers are interested in the stories I tell and the opinions I express. To that end, I believe that they want me to succeed in growing this blog and in using the platform I have created to continue communicating my thoughts and experiences.

Still, to say that I do not have reason to be afraid or anxious would be naive. There may not be any way for me to safeguard against every potential extreme reaction to a post; the only way to prevent any and all reactions would to avoid writing anything in the first place. But, last week, not only did I choose to write, I chose to tackle the most intensely personal of topics. I chose to offer an opinion about a matter that some might argue I shouldn’t be allowed to have an opinion on in the first place (remember – no uterus).

I was afraid to publish last week’s post about adoption and abortion because the most personal subjects usually bring out the most severe reactions. I obviously am not privy to the intimate details of all of my readers’ experiences with either of these topics and I was afraid that writing about them would trigger emotional attacks rather than thoughtful responses. Plus, in recent years, the political and media landscapes have become so polarized that any acknowledgements of nuance or complexity are often dismissed automatically as the enemy; “If you’re not with us – in every single way – you’re against us.”

I was looking to spark conversation but I was worried that I was going to ignite controversy instead.

Fortunately, my readers – again, that includes you – showed me that the trust I place in them by revealing my inner thoughts each week was not misdirected. I received more comments on that post, both publicly and privately, than just about any other post I’ve ever published. My breath caught in my throat as I read through each one; I only allowed myself to exhale once I realized that the writer was accepting my invitation to conversation, rather than lashing out in anger. There were no personal attacks, no mentions of my lack of a uterus and no recommendations for places I should stick certain objects or body parts. Even the people who disagreed with me did so by hearing my points, bringing up theirs and continuing the discussion.1

It was exactly what I had hoped for.

I don’t know how often I’ll continue to grapple with these topics on my blog in the future. I enjoy telling stories more than opining about the current state of our union but there have been a number of times recently when I’ve felt that political events were too important to pass up. I will say that, after seeing the responses to last week’s post, I’m optimistic that any future complex topics I decide to grapple with won’t lead to quite as much anxiety as this last one did.


1. My ego remained intact throughout the process, which is critical, of course, because a cis-gendered white man’s ego is always the most important – and, often fragile – part of any debate.


Featured image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

The Missing Piece From the Abortion Debate

This post was born out of a conversation with my wife shortly after laws designed to limit access to abortion were passed in Georgia, Alabama and other states. I had been trying to figure out how to write about the topic without simply writing a straightforward pro or con stance. T’s description of her reactions to the political rhetoric surrounding abortion helped me realize my own frustrations with the conversations I was hearing. Given the extremely controversial nature of this topic, I want to make clear that this piece is intended to add to the discussion, rather than present a judgment about women’s rights regarding abortion.


It was about ten years ago that I visited the Bodies exhibit in lower Manhattan with my wife and my parents.

The exhibit – which is now in Las Vegas and Atlanta – was the most in-depth human anatomy lesson I had ever seen. There were over two hundred bodies, both male and female, set up in a variety of positions so that attendees could see how human skeletons, muscles and organs connect to each other and how they work together to keep us alive. I remember being struck by the intricacies of the different systems and how a problem in one area would affect other body parts as well. In all, the space was filled with sights that non-medical students and professionals would never be exposed to otherwise. Continue reading “The Missing Piece From the Abortion Debate”

Looking for Answers Before Bed

Brian couldn’t sleep.

He lay awake in bed, doing his best to ignore the episode of “Friends” airing on television, hoping to fall asleep. He was sure his daughter would make her way into the bedroom at any moment and climb into the bed, which meant he’d have to choose between staying in bed and getting assaulted all night by his toddler or move to the couch to give his daughter and his wife more space.1 His thoughts had slowed somewhat but he recognized the familiar weight that they still seemed to hold.

The day had been full of contradictions and confusion, an odd mix of positivity and borderline despair, as many days had been recently. Continue reading “Looking for Answers Before Bed”

Verified by MonsterInsights