Helping Others Taste Freedom for Passover

I had never heard the phrase, “food insecurity,” until a few months ago.

I realize, of course, the privilege embedded in a statement like that. Not having heard the phrase means not having to worry about food. I’ve never wondered where my next meal would come from. And I certainly have never had to decide between paying for food or paying my rent.

My hardest food decisions have been figuring out which restaurants served food that my children would eat.

The synagogue religious school where I teach ran family learning programs this year regarding food insecurity. Each grade participated in a learning activity about the role food plays in our lives and the ways that people’s food needs influence their decisions each day. Parents shared in the learning with their children and everyone received information about local residents struggling with food insecurity.

The activities culminated in a synagogue-wide event. Synagogue members, students and staff packed bags of Passover food and groceries for local residents struggling with food insecurity. Plus, as opposed to shipping the bags to a different location, the food was handed directly to the people in need who had come to wait outside the synagogue for their groceries. Continue reading “Helping Others Taste Freedom for Passover”

Watson, Hill and Keri: Asking New Questions About Sports and Domestic Violence

Jonah Keri was one of my favorite sports writers.

Keri knew his material inside and out. He peppered his baseball writing with statistics, but kept it accessible to casual fans. He knew how to analyze facts about player performance and how to communicate the data to his audience.

Keri didn’t sacrifice the quality of his writing to do it, either. He wrote with sophistication and simplicity at the same time. His writing included references to pop culture, politics and the music world. He knew years ago what many influencers are still figuring out: you need more than one vertical to stay relevant.

Keri was funny too. He could trade barbs with anyone and used his self-effacing humor to put his podcast guests at ease. (“My voice is sort of a mix of Seth Rogen and Kermit the Frog,” he’d say.) It was that humor that landed him guest spots on The Late Show with Seth Meyers and repeated appearances on the Bill Simmons and the ESPN Fantasy Focus podcasts.

Jonah Keri was smart, endearing and accomplished.

He was also a domestic abuser. Continue reading “Watson, Hill and Keri: Asking New Questions About Sports and Domestic Violence”

My Guest Appearance on the Dad 2.0 Podcast

You all know me more for my writing than anything else. Here’s a chance to hear my spoken voice, as opposed to just my written one.

A few weeks ago, I was a guest on the Dad 2.0 Podcast, the companion to the conference I’ve been fortunate enough to attend the last three times it was held in person. The hosts, Doug and Jeff, and I spoke about a number of topics, including social work, my writing, my family and the differences between a menorah and a hanukkiah.

If you happen to find an hour or so to yourself over the coming days, I hope you’ll give it a listen. It was a great conversation and dealt with a lot of the mental health issues we’re all facing every day.

(Also, for what it’s worth, I recommend listening on 1.5x speed. It still sounds natural and it’ll save you about 15 minutes of listening time.)

Happy New Year, everyone.

Turning Fantasy Sports Into Real Relationships

I came back from the dog’s morning walk to find E sitting at the dining room table. He was hunched over his Chromebook, initially reserved for schoolwork but since used for numerous other activities. I recognized the website’s purple banner, grid lines and the list of blue names on the left hand side immediately.

He was looking at his fantasy football team.

I read a piece a few years ago by Matthew Berry, ESPN Fantasy Analyst, author and former Hollywood writer, about starting a fantasy league with his son and some other local families. I’d already been playing fantasy sports for years at that point but it was the first time I really thought about getting E involved. E was still very young so I knew it would be a while. But I began imagining a draft day tradition with kids huddling over rankings and their parents sharing in the excitement.

Fast forward to this year, when E had just returned home from his first summer at sleep-away camp. He had made a slew of new friends and wanted to keep in touch with them. He had also asked me previously about starting a fantasy league for the coming football season. My wife reached out to the other parents to gauge interest and, a few days later, the league was born. Continue reading “Turning Fantasy Sports Into Real Relationships”

The Happiest Animal in the World

The team made its way out to left field for our post-game meeting. There was an obvious mix of enthusiasm among its members. Some jogged, still showing the hustle after the game that their coaches had been preaching all season. Others ambled more slowly than rush hour traffic in midtown.

I couldn’t blame them for feeling listless; we’d just lost 12-0.

The boys knelt or sat cross-legged in the outfield and promptly began pulling out blades of grass while they waited for my coaching partner and me. We exchanged some brief thoughts about who had earned the game ball and walked out to join the team.

“Look,” I began, “I know it’s hard to think about positives after we just lost a game like that.”

A few of the players smiled ruefully as I continued. I mentioned their progress in working together as a team, including some players who played out of position in that game. I pointed out that two of our better players had not been available. And I added that we had played hard against our opponents, who were the best team in the league.

I went on to say that Memorial Day Weekend was essentially our All Star Break. We had passed the mid-point of the season and wouldn’t have another game for a full week. I encouraged the players to come to practice in a few days ready to work, but also to put tonight’s game behind them. I had just finished reminding them that, in our league, everyone makes the playoffs when our starting catcher raised his hand.

“E, you have something to add?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, turning to face his teammates.

“We have to be like goldfish.” Continue reading “The Happiest Animal in the World”

When Will the “New Normal” Feel Normal?

I’ve noticed that my “memories” in my social media feeds have been somewhat triggering over the past few weeks. Last month marked the anniversary of our worlds grinding to a halt as the start of the pandemic became real for most of the United States.

March 16th, 2020 was my last day of work at my office. It was the week when my wife had professional development at work and our kids’ schools canceled in-person learning. We started trying to figure out how to coexist when we were always at home together. My wife and I answered our children’s questions as best we could, often resigning ourselves to “I’m sorry, I don’t know.”

Then, after the kids were asleep, we would ask each other the same questions.

And we apologized to each other for not knowing the answers. Continue reading “When Will the “New Normal” Feel Normal?”

The Sweetest Addition

I always said I didn’t want to get a dog until we lived in a house. I said that having a dog in our two-bedroom apartment already overrun by our two human children was unreasonable. It would be too cramped, too difficult, too inconvenient. My wife agreed – at least verbally – but I’m skeptical if she actually meant it. Even if a verbal contract is binding in the State of New York, I wonder if she always knew we would end up getting a dog sooner than I had suggested.

Then, in March of 2020, our lives turned upside down when COVID hit.

The pandemic forced our children to stay home from school, away from their friends and any other in-person interactions. My wife and I could see our children’s moods changing. Their irritability grew and their anxiety skyrocketed. Our daughter threw tantrums and screamed whenever we tried to encourage her to participate in her class sessions on Zoom. Our son argued when we reviewed his schoolwork and voiced his displeasure at only having weekly contact with his class.

We agreed that a dog would be a wonderful distraction for our family from the tensions of the outside world. If our kids could focus on caring for a new furry family member, perhaps they could forget about being terrified to leave the apartment and interact with the outside world. My wife applied to every pet adoption agency in the city in the hopes that one might land a match. Continue reading “The Sweetest Addition”

7:00 PM

It had been a long two weeks, to say the least.

My day at work on that first Monday was bizarre, from the eerie tension on the subway ride, to the general staff meeting we held on the sidewalk outside the nearby church, to the renewed tension on the ride back home. I spent the rest of the week “working from home,” while also trying to entertain two children who suddenly weren’t able to attend school in person. T was still at work, preparing with the other New York City teachers to spend the next months teaching remotely. We were all home together for that second week. We navigated work and school schedules, limited living space and the circumstances that the pandemic thrusted upon us.

When Friday evening finally arrived, we ate Shabbat dinner together. We sang Shalom Aleichem and chanted the blessings that welcomed in the sorely needed weekly Day of Rest. The kids talked about their online class sessions and asked if school would look the same way next week. T and I did our best to reassure them – and ourselves, honestly – of the most important things: that everything was going to be fine and that we were safe. Whatever happened next, we would figure it out together.

When we had finished eating, the four of us went up to the roof of our apartment building. It was a warm evening, though not unseasonably so, considering it was late March. We admired the blend of watercolors that had begun spreading across the sky and the pleasant start to the weekend.

That was when I heard it. Continue reading “7:00 PM”

Find Your Miracle of 2020

This post was written by my wife, T Turk. 

While this Hanukkah was definitely different than Hanukkahs in the past, it was wonderful for our family to have had this time together. We fried latkes and donuts and decorated our apartment. We shared past memories and created new ones, gave presents to others and opened presents of our own and Zoomed each night with friends and family.

I know it’s an uncommon feeling but the year 2020 was a true miracle. Continue reading “Find Your Miracle of 2020”

Parental Dadvisory Podcast: Post-Election Reflection

It’s no secret that the 2020 Presidential election carried a lot of emotional weight for our nation. I had the opportunity to put some of those emotions into words with a few other dads on the Parental Dadvisory Podcast shortly after the results were announced. If you have some time, I hope you’ll give it a listen.

Fair warning: it’s a long conversation. I recommend listening on 1.5 speed; it won’t distort the voices too much and you’ll save yourself close to a half hour of listening time. Also, the actual conversation starts around the 6:30 mark; the first few minutes are introductions and alcohol talk.

Click to listen on YouTube.

Or, click to listen on iTunes/Apple podcasts.

Verified by MonsterInsights