The Happiest Animal in the World

The team made its way out to left field for our post-game meeting. There was an obvious mix of enthusiasm among its members. Some jogged, still showing the hustle after the game that their coaches had been preaching all season. Others ambled more slowly than rush hour traffic in midtown.

I couldn’t blame them for feeling listless; we’d just lost 12-0.

The boys knelt or sat cross-legged in the outfield and promptly began pulling out blades of grass while they waited for my coaching partner and me. We exchanged some brief thoughts about who had earned the game ball and walked out to join the team.

“Look,” I began, “I know it’s hard to think about positives after we just lost a game like that.”

A few of the players smiled ruefully as I continued. I mentioned their progress in working together as a team, including some players who played out of position in that game. I pointed out that two of our better players had not been available. And I added that we had played hard against our opponents, who were the best team in the league.

I went on to say that Memorial Day Weekend was essentially our All Star Break. We had passed the mid-point of the season and wouldn’t have another game for a full week. I encouraged the players to come to practice in a few days ready to work, but also to put tonight’s game behind them. I had just finished reminding them that, in our league, everyone makes the playoffs when our starting catcher raised his hand.

“E, you have something to add?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, turning to face his teammates.

“We have to be like goldfish.” Continue reading “The Happiest Animal in the World”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Means More As An Adult

The boy’s face lit up as he rushed to find the rest of his action figures. He’d just asked if I wanted to see more of his collection and I had acquiesced.

I could tell that he had been longing for someone to talk to for some time. He had a lot to say – I’d known that since I first met him – but I hadn’t realized just how much. He jumped at the chance to describe his Imaginext and Playskool Heroes figures and to educate me about the history of each brand’s progression in the genre. I asked where he had gotten his information and he shrugged.

“I did some research,” he said simply.

“Now, this one is C-3PO,” he continued, as though my question had disrupted his rhythm. “He and the Stormtrooper are both from Playskool Heroes but the Chewbacca is…”

I listened to his soliloquy for another minute or two until he held up a different action figure. This toy was a rhinoceros that stood upright. It wore brown camouflage military pants, a black tank top, a green utility belt and a matching helmet. Then it was my face that lit up.

“Is that Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” I asked excitedly.

“Yes!” he exclaimed. “How did you know that?” Continue reading “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Means More As An Adult”

Never Forget; Never Again

I usually read the first few posts on my social media platforms each morning. I get a quick sense of what’s happening based on the posts I see when I open the apps. Then I start scanning for words or images that catch my attention, rather than focusing on each individual post. I continue for a moment or two just to see if anything jumps out at me.

It was during the scanning phase the other day when I saw a tweet that made me stop. I wish I could say it was a quick anecdote of parenting humor or a hilarious meme. I usually find one or two of those each morning that make me laugh and put me in a better mood.

But yesterday was not that day.

The tweet brought up emotions that I hadn’t realized were simmering underneath my surface. It forced me to come back to the realities I can usually ignore while I’m focused on work or parenting. It reminded me that the world outside my apartment is not nearly as forgiving for most people who don’t look like me or live where I do. Continue reading “Never Forget; Never Again”

When Will the “New Normal” Feel Normal?

I’ve noticed that my “memories” in my social media feeds have been somewhat triggering over the past few weeks. Last month marked the anniversary of our worlds grinding to a halt as the start of the pandemic became real for most of the United States.

March 16th, 2020 was my last day of work at my office. It was the week when my wife had professional development at work and our kids’ schools canceled in-person learning. We started trying to figure out how to coexist when we were always at home together. My wife and I answered our children’s questions as best we could, often resigning ourselves to “I’m sorry, I don’t know.”

Then, after the kids were asleep, we would ask each other the same questions.

And we apologized to each other for not knowing the answers. Continue reading “When Will the “New Normal” Feel Normal?”

The Sweetest Addition

I always said I didn’t want to get a dog until we lived in a house. I said that having a dog in our two-bedroom apartment already overrun by our two human children was unreasonable. It would be too cramped, too difficult, too inconvenient. My wife agreed – at least verbally – but I’m skeptical if she actually meant it. Even if a verbal contract is binding in the State of New York, I wonder if she always knew we would end up getting a dog sooner than I had suggested.

Then, in March of 2020, our lives turned upside down when COVID hit.

The pandemic forced our children to stay home from school, away from their friends and any other in-person interactions. My wife and I could see our children’s moods changing. Their irritability grew and their anxiety skyrocketed. Our daughter threw tantrums and screamed whenever we tried to encourage her to participate in her class sessions on Zoom. Our son argued when we reviewed his schoolwork and voiced his displeasure at only having weekly contact with his class.

We agreed that a dog would be a wonderful distraction for our family from the tensions of the outside world. If our kids could focus on caring for a new furry family member, perhaps they could forget about being terrified to leave the apartment and interact with the outside world. My wife applied to every pet adoption agency in the city in the hopes that one might land a match. Continue reading “The Sweetest Addition”

7:00 PM

It had been a long two weeks, to say the least.

My day at work on that first Monday was bizarre, from the eerie tension on the subway ride, to the general staff meeting we held on the sidewalk outside the nearby church, to the renewed tension on the ride back home. I spent the rest of the week “working from home,” while also trying to entertain two children who suddenly weren’t able to attend school in person. T was still at work, preparing with the other New York City teachers to spend the next months teaching remotely. We were all home together for that second week. We navigated work and school schedules, limited living space and the circumstances that the pandemic thrusted upon us.

When Friday evening finally arrived, we ate Shabbat dinner together. We sang Shalom Aleichem and chanted the blessings that welcomed in the sorely needed weekly Day of Rest. The kids talked about their online class sessions and asked if school would look the same way next week. T and I did our best to reassure them – and ourselves, honestly – of the most important things: that everything was going to be fine and that we were safe. Whatever happened next, we would figure it out together.

When we had finished eating, the four of us went up to the roof of our apartment building. It was a warm evening, though not unseasonably so, considering it was late March. We admired the blend of watercolors that had begun spreading across the sky and the pleasant start to the weekend.

That was when I heard it. Continue reading “7:00 PM”

Find Your Miracle of 2020

This post was written by my wife, T Turk. 

While this Hanukkah was definitely different than Hanukkahs in the past, it was wonderful for our family to have had this time together. We fried latkes and donuts and decorated our apartment. We shared past memories and created new ones, gave presents to others and opened presents of our own and Zoomed each night with friends and family.

I know it’s an uncommon feeling but the year 2020 was a true miracle. Continue reading “Find Your Miracle of 2020”

Parental Dadvisory Podcast: Post-Election Reflection

It’s no secret that the 2020 Presidential election carried a lot of emotional weight for our nation. I had the opportunity to put some of those emotions into words with a few other dads on the Parental Dadvisory Podcast shortly after the results were announced. If you have some time, I hope you’ll give it a listen.

Fair warning: it’s a long conversation. I recommend listening on 1.5 speed; it won’t distort the voices too much and you’ll save yourself close to a half hour of listening time. Also, the actual conversation starts around the 6:30 mark; the first few minutes are introductions and alcohol talk.

Click to listen on YouTube.

Or, click to listen on iTunes/Apple podcasts.

Masking the Struggle to Adjust During the Pandemic

Today was a better day.

I feel almost embarrassed writing that sentence. Describing today as “better” means that the other days have been… less so. As someone who tends to present with a generally positive mood, I worry sometimes about showing a different side. The darker, struggling version of myself – the Castor to my Pollux, or perhaps, vice versa – is ever-present, despite remaining beneath the surface most of the time. And, though I’m well aware of the benefits of revealing that side, the admission itself still feels awkward.

My challenges are hardly unique. I spent thirteen years leaving my apartment for work each morning. Anyone suddenly working at home every day can empathize with the struggle to adjust. The pandemic has shifted my paradigm of compartmentalizing out household chores and my son’s school assignments to one where I face both simultaneously each day. Continue reading “Masking the Struggle to Adjust During the Pandemic”

The Best Part of a Little League Grand Slam

It wasn’t the hit.

The metal bat made a solid ping as it sent the baseball soaring toward the vine-covered fence in right-center field. I’d heard the sound before, mostly when watching the Little League World Series or college baseball games on television. I heard it occasionally during my son’s games in person too, though less often. This moment notwithstanding, pitchers his age often struggle to find the strike zone, which means the batters are less likely to have the chance to connect so directly.

It wasn’t the swing.

Long gone are the days when he would amble over to home plate, take his stance and bring his bat around with the faint hope of making contact. Now he walks up with a purpose, plants his cleats firmly in the dirt and sways back and forth slightly while the pitcher sets. He raises the bat high over his back shoulder, drawing little “O’s” in the air as he waits for the delivery. He takes a step toward the mound and swings over the plate, extending his arms and following through. I admire his form and hope that I looked that smooth swinging the bat when I was his age. Continue reading “The Best Part of a Little League Grand Slam”

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