The Interview

Amanda stood in the middle of the hallway and watched the double doors close. She could see the doctor through the narrow glass window walking back to his office.

She had gotten the time wrong and shown up hours early. Again.

Amanda turned at the sounds of footsteps behind her. A short, dark-skinned woman came into the hallway and waited by the elevator. The elevator signaled its arrival a moment later with a soft “Ding!” and a man in a charcoal grey suit emerged. The woman greeted him and offered him water in a thick Caribbean accent, which he declined politely. The woman motioned toward a set of wide wooden seats near Amanda and the man sat down.

Amanda glanced back through the window at the now-empty hallway on the other side of the doors. She scanned the walls where she was standing for a clock. “They tell me I need to come back later or wait until 4:00,” she muttered to herself. “But how am I supposed to know what time it is without a freaking clock?”

Continue reading “The Interview”

Nothing is Simple About Terrorism in Israel

Ping!

My assistant coach hit a practice grounder to the left side of the pitcher’s mound. Our shortstop shifted his weight slightly, caught the ball in his glove and tossed it up just past his shoulder. He snatched it out of the air with his bare hand and fired a throw to first. The first baseman had to stretch his glove down the foul line to make the catch but managed to keep his foot on the base. I pursed my lips slightly but kept quiet.

Ping!

Coach hit another ground ball, this time to third. The third baseman moved to his right to catch the ball backhanded with his glove, made a quick 360-degree turn as he transferred the ball to his other hand and threw the ball as hard as he could. I watched the ball sail into the outfield and decided I’d seen enough.

“Hey!” I yelled. “Everybody bring it in for a minute.”

The team jogged over to me and looked up expectantly.

“Look,” I began, “we don’t need flashy plays here. This isn’t Sportscenter; nobody’s making the Top Ten Plays or Web Gems and we don’t get any extra points for style. Just make the play.”

I heard a number of chuckles, mixed with some slight groans and an, “Aww man!” from the team.

“Seriously!” I pressed. “I want boring! Give me the most boring, straightforward plays you can make. I don’t want to see Derek Jeter throwing the ball as he jumps and spins. I want to see you field the ball cleanly, set your feet, make a solid throw to get the out, and I want to yawn!”

The players laughed as they returned to their positions to continue practicing. Continue reading “Nothing is Simple About Terrorism in Israel”

Making Change Against Anti-Semitism

I had two roommates in college during my freshman year.

The first – we’ll call him Han – was also a freshman. Han was Asian, a New York City native and a terrific pool player. He also enjoyed rap and hip hop music; I still credit him with giving me my first real exposure to those genres. He didn’t talk much, although he was happy to respond if I struck up a conversation with him.

The second – we’ll call him Gary – was a junior who transferred to Binghamton from another SUNY school. Gary was tall, white and lived somewhere in upstate New York. He was more outgoing than Han and the two of us spent quite a bit of time together when we first arrived at school.

Han, Gary and I weren’t friends by any standard definition of the term. We came from different backgrounds, had different interests and associated with different groups of friends. But we coexisted peacefully and there were never any real conflicts between us.

Until Gary’s friend, Greg, came to visit. Continue reading “Making Change Against Anti-Semitism”

Searching For Answers in the Wake of Tragedy

The girl was a quiet student.

She responded when called on, but she was less eager than her classmates to offer her opinions without being prompted. She often doodled during class, either in her notebook or on her arms, and rarely made eye contact with me. At times, I wondered whether she was actually listening to the discussions occurring around her.

During one class session late in the year, we spoke about God’s presence – or lack thereof? – during the Holocaust. The students asked the understandable question: if we, as Jews, are supposed to be God’s people, why would God allow the Holocaust to happen? I couldn’t pretend to know the answer, but I presented the ways in which people’s beliefs were affected by the Holocaust.

I explained that there were some who claimed that the Holocaust was evidence that God could not exist. Their answer to the question was based on logic; God would not have allowed the Jewish people to be persecuted to such an extent if God existed.

Then I added that, even in the face of the Holocaust, some people still maintained their faith in God. I said that they needed to believe that God had some sort of plan and that we, as humans, could not understand why God allowed the Nazis to murder six million Jews. The only way to press on was to believe that there was a reason for the events happening around them.

The student looked up from the intricate ink design that was creeping up her forearm.

“Well, that’s stupid,” she said simply. Continue reading “Searching For Answers in the Wake of Tragedy”

Speaking Up and Supporting the Cause: Being an Ally for Women’s Rights

I didn’t write a blog post on International Women’s Day.

I didn’t post about it on social media. No writing on Facebook, no Twitter threads, no Instagram photos. I didn’t even put up a measly “story” on Instagram or Facebook.

I didn’t have a particular reason for not writing about it. Lord knows I have plenty of material at my disposal, between my wife and daughter and the other admirable women in my life. But the day came and went with nary a mention from me.

But I should have. Continue reading “Speaking Up and Supporting the Cause: Being an Ally for Women’s Rights”

Helping Others Taste Freedom for Passover

I had never heard the phrase, “food insecurity,” until a few months ago.

I realize, of course, the privilege embedded in a statement like that. Not having heard the phrase means not having to worry about food. I’ve never wondered where my next meal would come from. And I certainly have never had to decide between paying for food or paying my rent.

My hardest food decisions have been figuring out which restaurants served food that my children would eat.

The synagogue religious school where I teach ran family learning programs this year regarding food insecurity. Each grade participated in a learning activity about the role food plays in our lives and the ways that people’s food needs influence their decisions each day. Parents shared in the learning with their children and everyone received information about local residents struggling with food insecurity.

The activities culminated in a synagogue-wide event. Synagogue members, students and staff packed bags of Passover food and groceries for local residents struggling with food insecurity. Plus, as opposed to shipping the bags to a different location, the food was handed directly to the people in need who had come to wait outside the synagogue for their groceries. Continue reading “Helping Others Taste Freedom for Passover”

Watson, Hill and Keri: Asking New Questions About Sports and Domestic Violence

Jonah Keri was one of my favorite sports writers.

Keri knew his material inside and out. He peppered his baseball writing with statistics, but kept it accessible to casual fans. He knew how to analyze facts about player performance and how to communicate the data to his audience.

Keri didn’t sacrifice the quality of his writing to do it, either. He wrote with sophistication and simplicity at the same time. His writing included references to pop culture, politics and the music world. He knew years ago what many influencers are still figuring out: you need more than one vertical to stay relevant.

Keri was funny too. He could trade barbs with anyone and used his self-effacing humor to put his podcast guests at ease. (“My voice is sort of a mix of Seth Rogen and Kermit the Frog,” he’d say.) It was that humor that landed him guest spots on The Late Show with Seth Meyers and repeated appearances on the Bill Simmons and the ESPN Fantasy Focus podcasts.

Jonah Keri was smart, endearing and accomplished.

He was also a domestic abuser. Continue reading “Watson, Hill and Keri: Asking New Questions About Sports and Domestic Violence”

The Graphic Novel Is Not Too Graphic: Why Maus Belongs In School Curricula

The Holocaust was a standard part of the curriculum from elementary school through my senior year of high school. As a Jewish kid at a Jewish day school, exposure to the history and impact of the Holocaust wasn’t exactly a surprise.

I didn’t realize the extent of the differences between my private education and the local public schools until I went to college. I knew, of course, that public school students were not taking classes on Hebrew language or Biblical criticism. But I assumed that the secular studies classes – math, history, English language arts, science – were relatively similar.

My assumption was mostly correct. Instruction in math, science, and even history is relatively standard. Students need to learn specific concepts as part of each topic in order to prepare for their futures.

But English is different.

Continue reading “The Graphic Novel Is Not Too Graphic: Why Maus Belongs In School Curricula”

My Guest Appearance on the Dad 2.0 Podcast

You all know me more for my writing than anything else. Here’s a chance to hear my spoken voice, as opposed to just my written one.

A few weeks ago, I was a guest on the Dad 2.0 Podcast, the companion to the conference I’ve been fortunate enough to attend the last three times it was held in person. The hosts, Doug and Jeff, and I spoke about a number of topics, including social work, my writing, my family and the differences between a menorah and a hanukkiah.

If you happen to find an hour or so to yourself over the coming days, I hope you’ll give it a listen. It was a great conversation and dealt with a lot of the mental health issues we’re all facing every day.

(Also, for what it’s worth, I recommend listening on 1.5x speed. It still sounds natural and it’ll save you about 15 minutes of listening time.)

Happy New Year, everyone.

Listening Well Is More Helpful Than It Sounds

She smiled as she spoke – she did so often, I’d noticed by now – somewhat betraying the difficult tone of her comments. The smile conveyed more confusion than kindness, like a parent’s laugh of exasperation when their child simply refuses to hear reason. It was the smile of disbelief, frustration and grief.

It was the smile of loneliness.

I waited a moment after she had finished speaking. I needed the extra seconds to bear the weight of her words, the sadness behind yet another self-deprecating remark. She watched me expectantly as I searched for a response. I knew she was looking for support as she worked through the dynamics of peer interactions and I didn’t want to disappoint her.

“Look, I wish I had a better answer for you here,” I began. “But, sometimes, the bottom line is that adolescence just sucks.”

She blinked and her face broke into that same, sad smile.

So much for not disappointing her, I thought. Continue reading “Listening Well Is More Helpful Than It Sounds”

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